God Hates Barbers

Surely their blood shall be upon them 

Do Not Mock God

Christians living in the modern world are at great risk of being led into evil habits that mock God's teachings.  But God has given us explicit instructions for righteous and holy personal grooming technques. A righteous man will not be tempted by spinning ornaments with colored stripes on them, any more than he is tempted by a harlot with a red incandescent lamp in her den of iniquity.

For it is the Revealed Word of God, directly inserted into the minds of ancient scribes, that a righteous man shall not suffer the scissors and shavers of Satan to come near to his face. "You shall not cut the hair on the sides of your heads, neither shall you clip off the edge of your beard."

Righteous Man of God

As the photo shown here clearly illustrates, a righteous man would never allow his beard to be trimmed.

This man obviously does not go anywhere near a Barber Shop, because he knows that God Hates Barbers.

The righteous man shown on the left has evolved into a truly devout Christian who is concerned with the Origins of the Specious. One claim that he obviously realizes is specious is that people should get haircuts. Notice how bushy and fully developed is the hair around his temples. Certainly he believes in the Preservation of Favored Hair Growth in the Struggle for Righteousness. Clearly this righteous man has made a natural selection to avoid the sins of scissors and shavers.

For ye shall not cut off the hair of your heads round about your temples. This the heathens, infidels, and cute young sexy guys do, either for the worship of their idols on MTV, to whom young men used to consecrate their hair, being cut off from their heads, as Homer, Bart, Moe and many others have done, or for cooler hair styles.  Thy hair stylings shall be an abomination! And thy conditioner is right out.

Neither shall ye cut off thy hair and sell it for huge profits on eBay to men with afflictions of the scalp. For baldness is my judgement, sayeth the lord, and the bald shall not adorn their heads with temple cuttings or beard corners lest they should face my wrath and the judgement of my army of Internet trolls.

And there shall be a special judgement for the servants of Satan that work the trimmers and scissors in opposition to my will, for they shall be judged as harshly as Spongebob Squarepants.

And I shall beset you with TV evangelists, and a plague of legislators that shall be in their pockets. My judgement shall be upon those with fancy hairstyles. Surely their blood shall be upon them. Leviticus 19:27, Leviticus 13:41

good news of God's hatred from Steve's Web Hosting       God also hates Brats, Crustaceans, Pork, Vaginas, and Mixed Fibers
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